How to Die Twice?

Most of us, in this generation, die from the ages 13-16. Oh, and I'm not talking about death as the state of being dead or the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism. No, I'm thinking more metaphorically.

People say that a dancer dies twice. One, when they stop dancing and second, is when they stop breathing, and that the first death is the more painful one. Why only dancers you ask? Well, technically speaking, once a dancer stops dancing, she will lose the body of a dancer that one could only achieve through years of training and experience, and usually, they start at a very young age. Singers, artists, or musicians, on the other hand, are different. Once they stop singing, creating or playing the instrument, it's not like their talent or skill fades away or disappears, they could just simply get back on it whenever they like. I know, it's quite unfair, believe me for I am or was a dancer myself.

The reason why I couldn't decide on what verb to use in the last sentence, it is because I think... I'm dying. To see your abilities go one by one is very painful to watch. To constantly perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) just to keep myself alive through morning stretches, watching videos, and learning choreographies online just to keep my heart beating. Isn't it too cruel? When once I could say, "I can backbend!", "I can do side and front splits!", "I can cartwheel!", "I can learn a whole choreography in just five minutes!", " I can rehearse for hours without getting tired!" but now, the present tense suddenly shifted to past tense. But then I realized, aren't we all just like dancers?

When we were kids, we were so good at being ourselves. It was like there was a fire burning within us we call passion. We believed that we could be anything and that everything is possible. We dreamed so big, the sky's the limit that one day you're a doctor, checking your parent's pulse, the next day you're an actor, acting in front of the mirror, and the next day you're an astronaut, naming all the planets. But suddenly, when you turn the ages 13-16, you change.

The fire within you gets weaker and weaker and weaker just because "life happened". Suddenly, you're a teenager! You're scared. You just want to be yourself but you're afraid that people might find out you're different so you try to hide your true self, wearing this facade, acting like your tough, strong, brave and independent but deep inside you're just a child wanting to be loved for who you are. You try to fit into what society calls "normal". The adults will tell you, "Grow up and be mature!" but what do they even know when they're the ones hindering us from "growing up"?

Before you know it, the fire has already gone out and you no longer know yourself. You no longer recognize the reflection in the mirror. But just like me, you would try to CPR your way of finding yourself again, like imagining yourself in a music video inside the car listening to your favorite song, when you're in front of the mirror and start posing like you're in a Vogue magazine cover shoot or when you draw a masterpiece at the back of your notebook during an hour lecture. Little do you know that these are the signs or should I say, your soul trying to cry for help because you have already buried it too deep.

Sadly, only a few in this generation made it out alive, barely. We have lost too many beautiful souls. Others have died because they were bullied, others have died because they were labeled as weird, abnormal, or odd, others have died because they were forced to chase and live in someone else's dream, others have died because of poverty and that they didn't have the right to dream because their number one priority should be their family's future, and others have died because they were told to only dare to dream a dream of practicality.

When you die because you have stopped being yourself, your true self, not being able to fulfill your purpose, that's even worse than death itself, don't you think? None of us asked to be born into this discriminating, unfair world, so why should we spend the only life we have hiding, being dictated on how you should look and behave, and acting like someone you're not? We are only born once, don't you think dying once is enough? It's not too late, you know. So please, keep that fire burning. Keep on dreaming. Be yourself, and never give up.